Dating When You Are Shy
Overcoming shyness is not easy when every social situation throws a wave of anxiety directly in your directly in your face. Thoughts of panic grip every muscle in your body at the thought of talking to someone new or even approaching someone new to ask them out on a date! Overcoming shyness is difficult but being lonely is even more difficult.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is the first step. Smile and make small talk with the opposite sex at your workplace to help ease your comfort and boost your confidence. Making friends will increase your social circle and make it easier to meet other people.
Picking someone online for a date doesn’t have to cause even more anxiety, if you choose someone by what they wrote and not so much on their looks. People always seem to pick someone who is physically pleasing only and look over the most important detail: will you be able to talk to the person. Looks will only go so far and won’t last so you need to be able to talk to each other and share common interests.
Read through profiles and think about going to a coffee shop with that person. If you answer yes to the following questions, then invite them to meet you for a coffee:
Do you share at least 3 interests?
Did you find at least 3 of their hobbies interesting?
Did you find their job interesting?
These questions will give you something to discuss during your first meeting. You might want to write down your questions because when you are shy, nerves make everything difficult and you may forget what you wanted to ask! Don’t stress if there is a lull in conversation. It is fine to take a break and breathe or take a drink of that coffee. Avoid alcohol on a first meeting, as you do not want to nervously drink too much and become sloppy.
Sparks may not fly with everyone so do not beat yourself up if there will not be a second date… instead think of the date as practice. More practice will put you at ease when talking to people and you will soon find that special someone and sparks will fly.