I know everything that every man has known about females since time began.
It’s simple…I know nothing!
I may not have a better understanding, however I had a better viewpoint, for two and a half decades. I observed the good the bad and a whole lot of ugly. Break up, shakeup and too much makeup. Although, I don’t claim to know it all. I saw most of “IT”…
You know my name, we have spoken before. My name is bartender, welcome to my show. This is the first of the first. The party raged on for eight thousand and eighty eight days and nights or 25 years. My last apartment had a name… “where the party never ends“…
(Although it did, hard…)
At the time I am in college getting the same degree that most everyone gets “physiology”. Advantage “Bartender”? Can’t say! However, I do know that life does not live in books, most everyone liked this bartender and I (still to this day) like to ask questions. People seemed to think that maybe the bartender might have some insight. I did. Yet, it was just bad for business to lay out a fat batch of the truth… i.e. Dude, it’s ALL over, MOVE ON.
Over the next year you will find it all here. All of “IT”. This is rugged landscape, life is NOT fair and to be honest this is NOT for the faint of heart.
The best of the worst idea. This is not funny, but feel free to laugh. I was a bartender, on loan, a lot… It’s called the circuit. So, a blonde wearing stilts (you may call them “Stiletto Heels”) came into the bar. I am the only person behind said bar. Her heels set her firmly into the skyscraper category while “looking life a fresh kill” A blood red dress, sporting a slit up the right to the waist. There is a problem and we are no where close to Houston. This is NOT the 5 – 7 look. We will just call that the First hint.
Hint number two was following soon… It’s dark inside, she slides on gold rimmed sunglasses with neon green lenses. (Yea, that is something you don’t forget!) I had been working the circuit (Yes, its a real thing) for years.
Hint # 3 – She is walking around the bar and appeared to be looking for a place to create her party launching station. For me (is it just me?) she is not looking for a table she is looking for someone. That is when the bartender (remember that is me) starting to put it together…
Early on bars had the strange edgy type of energy. The air conditioning is rumbling, neon beer lights seem lost out of place without revelers to validate their need to exist. Enter the D.J. (yes the artist, just ask one). Oddly all having the same first name (DJ Bob, DJ Red, DJ Killer… ya get it) shows up, without great purpose wandering in the general direction of the (DJ) booth. I don’t remember her last name BUT DJ ___ looks up in the middle of a jet intake pull on a volcanic tipped cigarette. Her eye’s just explode open, her head shoots to the ground and her legs start moving her to the managers office. This is going to be a night to remember.
I can not tell you this is paradise, yet it is easy to say there is trouble. Lady legs and her flowing red ensemble are gliding towards the bar… Yea that would be me, drew the short straw. I am thinking, well ya know what I am thinking… It’s time to ask questions.
Bartender Confidential : An original [blog series] on SimpliSingles
Episode 1 : I understand…